Sushi???

I am SO upset.  I am so in the mood for sushi and since I'll be in Bethesda getting my hairs did tomorrow, I figured I'd get some sushi.

Problem is this: The boy toy took me to a sushi joint in Bethesda during one of his times of actually deigning to be seen in public with me.  It was good, it was cheap, and I really want it.

Hell if I know where it is.  I think I know, but we all know me and my directional sense.  I am directionally challenged and this is charming at times, but currently a total negative.

Remind me next time, before I break up with whoever comes next, if I break up that is, to collect all the information of restaurants I loved.  Oh and remind me to put the handyman services to use too.  Oh and if they owe me for being their chauffeur service, remind me to collect payment.  Oh and remind me not to spend so much money if I'm pretty sure I'm never getting my Christmas present.

Ok, all of that being said... damnit!  I am DYING to know where this place is.  Gggggrrrr.

Nibblers

My feet have been nibbled on.

I know, sounds kind of hot, right?  I mean, really now.  Except for two minor things.

1)  I'm just not into feet.  Unless they're being massaged after a full body deal.

2)  It wasn't male related.  It was bugs.

And scratching those suckers hurts so good.

Random Fun

• I posted a random survey to one of my five billion blog sites... I figured the readers here would thoroughly enjoy an insight into my life... like they don't get one daily...
• ✂: Share one of the hardest moments in your life. 
• I'll share one of the most recent - having to ask my mother for 11k so I can finish this stupid degree that I'll maybe be able to get a job from.  Man, that sucked.
• æ: Post a picture of yourself 
• Um, look left.  It's right there.  
• ✌: Share a childhood memory 
• So there was this time, that Lo said something or other, and I totally thought she'd said cheesehead.  And was calling me a cheesehead.  So I asked her why I'm a cheesehead.  She was really confused.  I really wouldn't ask about our relationship.  It's special.  And no, I'm not referring to the sappy, music fills the air, flowers scent the air special.  I'm referencing the OTHER kind, you know, the totally un-pc kind, of special.
• ♡: Make a confession 
• I almost e-mailed Thou Who Shalt Not Be Named last night.  I have no idea what I would have said.  I have no idea what would have come out.  I do know that it would have been pathetic and weak.  But yeah, almost did it.  Whew to NOT being pathetic and weak.
• ❁: Share one of your insecurities 
• It wasn't an insecurity before Thou Who Shalt Not Be Named, but it became one.  I'm too loud, obnoxious, and fat.  But I'm really not.  But I worry that I am.  This is what happens when I'm stuffed into a closet like a pair of last seasons heels.
• ✓: Share something about yourself others might think is weird. 
• Everybody thinks everything is weird about me. Um, toilet paper needs to go OVER, not under.  I can't stand when your/you're or their/there/they're is mis-used.  Let's see what else...I have absolutely no shame.  Clearly.  If you didn't note that one already, I'm kind of worried about you.
• ☹: Share a turn off 
• Smoking.  Disgusting.  Put it out peeps.  Save your, and my, lungs.
• ☀: Share a turn on 
• Do I even remember what a turn on is?!  Um... um... um... well crap.  I have absolutely no recollection of what a turn on is for me.  That and my father reads this blog - in his world, I don't even know what sex is.
• ♬: Share a song that takes you to a certain memory in the past. 
• Ridin' Solo.  Thou... TWSNBN is easier.  It was one of his favorite songs for a while.  I remember looking at him going, excuse you?  Gee, how auspicious.
• ☆: Share one thing you think about before you you go to bed at night 
• OMG.  It's a school day tomorrow.  OMG.  I have NO clothes.  OMG.  I have to get up to workout.  Wait - who am I kidding?  OMG.  My legs really itch.  *Scratch scratch*  Oh, that explains it - they're really hairy.  (Note the proper usage of they're). That gives you the general gist of my nightly thoughts.  I know, SO boring.  It should really be... OMG.  Those pecs are SO hot.  How did I end up with this fine piece of ass?... Yeah, in my dreams.  We should all be that lucky.

Biker Babe

We all know how my Thursday went. I would love to report that yesterday and today I feel better, but alas, I would be lying. Yesterday I had to go into school for something, which is a change because I don't teach on Fridays due to class.

I'm at Starbucks waiting in line. I gave my order and the guy came back to ask me a question, which I didn't hear because my already crappy hearing is now being further impeded by this delightful illness. So the guy in line behind me lets me know I'm being hailed, smiles at me, and I crack some sort of joke. When I go to pay with the wonderful Starbs app on my iPhone (have I mentioned I love that thing?), the guy and I take a moment to chat about that.

He's not bad looking, although a wee bit old and a wee bit skinny. Then my brilliant powers of observation notices that he has a bike helmet. Not the pump your legs and get exercise kind, but the vroom vroom kind. I'm already a bitch, so there is just mo need to make me a biker bitch. Hell will have come to Earth if that ever happens.

Then I go out and he's smoking. That's on the list of big fat no no's. So he was clearly not meant to be at the outset. But it was nice to have somebody show some kind of interest, especially when disgustingly ill.

That's the funny story - now for the one that made me happy. While at school for the jtiny bit I was there, I talked to the para-educator in mky first period class. She said that this girl who I always thought hated me was asking after me and bummed that I wasn't going to be coming to class. Yay! It is SO nice to know that somebody actually gives a rat's ass. Other than creepy student that is.

A Special Student

Today was an interesting day on the ol' teaching front.  The teacher I work with was gone today, so I was the one teaching.  Of course, today is the day that I'm sneezy, coughy, runny nosey, and sore throaty.  Did I forget to mention standing upright was an interesting task?  All I could say to a friend of mine when I got home was, "I'm sick, cranky, and there's nobody here to take care of me."  And then all I could do was feel sorry for myself because I haven't been taken care of in forever.  So this is an idea of my feelings throughout the day.

Because, for the first time EVER when working with students, I was creeped out.  This is not to say that random students walking down the hallways haven't weirded me out, but I'm talking about MY students to ME.

A young man walks up to me to hand something in and says, "Your hairs are soft."  Ok, so I happen to be wearing my hair curly today.  But wait, what?!  Is that supposed to be a compliment when you've never touched my hairs?  So all those times I've felt like this kid is watching me has now been verified.  As it gets better.

He comes up to me to turn something else in.  Makes sure his hand touches mine.  Makes sure to make hardcore eye contact.  Then says to me, "You have really pretty eyes."  UM?!  I'm old kid!  And your teacher!  And and and, eeeewwww!  So now I'm creeped out.

But I'm pretty sure y'all are laughing.

Thanks.  Really.

Honorable Life

Today is clearly a day for reflection. We have many days that we are supposed to do this, based on various bad happenings that have happened in this country. In some ways this is different, in others, not so much.

I turned on my tv this morning after grabbing coffee and newspapers. I wanted to see today's headlines and stories. The stories that ultimately broke my heart were the ones of the children who were old enough to remember their fallen parents. Well, I suppose they're not so young now, but my heart broke for them none the less. The son who's father wouldn't live to teach him baseball. The daughter who's mother didn't live to celebrate her wedding. The children who are no longer children are having children now, many without the blessing presence and experience of their parents.

I can't imagine being a teacher of a child who has lived through tragedy. I can imagine teaching a drugged up child though, so I'm not sure what any of that says about me. Irrespective, I was accused about a month ago of drifting, of not knowing where I am going or how I will get there.

I believe once this could absolutely be true of me. I do have one worthless Masters under my belt after all. But now? I don't believe it. Because today reminded what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.

When I was in the fifth grade, I was quite depressed. Ever since then I wanted to help others, so their lives could be fulfilled. This want has taken many different forms for my future, transferring from wanting to be a shrink, to wanting to be a drug counselor, to now becoming a teacher. This has been where my strange and circuitous path has been leading all my life.

Will I always be a teacher? Maybe not. Probably not, knowing my penchant four loving to learn new things. But I will always be helping people and hopefully I find a partner who supports this drive to learn use what skills I do have for others. I haven't done enough of that since I moved here, always placing it on the back burner. No wonder I'm so often dissatisfied. I was raised to give back, using my hands and feet. Or in high school, my ears. Feel free - take a moment to laugh. I do.

The other thing that struck me today were the brave voices of the survivors who are living without their life partners. Some have remarried, others have not. But in each circumstance, a life of love was talked about. Ok, granted, who's going to speak ill of the dead? But still! I want that too. A partner who I am with for 30 plus years, who wants to live life's joys and sorrows with me. It was a cruel twist of fate to realize I'd dreamed of having that with someone to finally realize he had never felt the same. But today helped because I deserve that life. I deserve the partner, the service, the roller coaster. I deserve a rich and full life with people who want to spend it with me.

All of this thought happened as I was returning items. I walked down the street contemplating my life that is anything but drifting and I tripped.

I then thought, "I also deserve to learn to pick up my feet when I walk."

Shocking Day

Oh where to begin...

The biggest shocker is that there is a team I officially hate more than the farm (which is Stanford for those of you who I have not yet converted to Cal-isms).  Yes, that is right.  I will root for Stanford before... that's right... USC.  The condoms have broken all over the place and I am one sticky mess because of those latex wieners.

On that note.  I called financial aid today to ask about what looks like yet another charge, this one 8k.  The woman could NOT or would NOT answer the question, i.e. am I really being charged this amount?  Finally I got to the point where I dropped the f-bomb.  To which she replied in a really snotty tone of voice, "This is a private university.  That kind of language is not condoned."  Well then answer the fucking question you piece of fucking shit.  Excuse me?  Wait?  Condoned?  Do I look like I give a rat's ass what a bunch of dipshits who don't know how to answer a question think?  Oy.  So I hung up on her... no, I said good bye and hung up on her.  I was that "polite".  Then I contacted my normal person in the department and made what I call, an excuse apology.  "I'm sorry, BUT".  I learned it from the boy, it was the only kind of apology he ever gave.  "I'm sorry, but it's still all your fault and you're still a bitch."  Oh right.  Yes.  Bitch central - how may I direct your call?  (1) If you need to hear you're ugly, (2) If you need to hear you're a pathetic numbskull, (3) If you need to hear that you have a tiny dick, or (4) If you need to hear that you're a worthless sack of beans. 

Speaking of men, I'm starting to think I should have women for companionship and men just to get laid.  Because I came to the realization today that men really don't want to spend a lot of time with me.  We all know the boy did everything he could to make sure he didn't and even my own father doesn't want to.  He'll spend hours talking to friends, but it's a red letter day if I get 10 minutes.  So I'm starting to scratch the idea of good old fashioned male friendships and hang outs.  I'm clearly just completely incapable.  Shoulda been a lesbian.  The big guy upstairs f'd that one up big time.

And speaking of the boy, funny story.  I looked like utter crap tonight, as I didn't exactly expect to be doing anything.  So I head down to Friendship Heights to do a little shopping with Christina.  I park up on a side street, so I don't have to pay for parking.  I'm walking down the street and realize that this is the street boy and I used to walk down to get to FH.  I literally dove behind a bush and poked my head out, looking all over the place to make sure he wasn't walking down the street with his new girl (because we're all already sure he has one).  I mean, I really don't mind him seeing me... when I look good.  Looking like I did tonight?  Oh hell to the no.  Homeboy does not get to see this.

Talk about a crazy day I tell you.  It's days like this that remind me just how oh so special I am.

Vanity

For those of you who forgot... I'm really quite vain.  So if you don't want to look at a bunch of pictures of me, then I'd recommend not continuing.

Today I wore the dress that I wore to prom with thou who shalt not be named.  Might I note that I looked a billion times better in it today?  Positively svelte! 

 What's that thing in my hair?  Well, a friend of mine really wanted to buy the teal version, but was too embarrassed/shy to wear it in public alone.  You know me, making an ass out of myself???  No big deal!  So I got one too.  And I got tons of compliments.  Go figure.

And here's me having a grand old time.  How did I end up having such a good time?  Well, after brunch, I found thou who shalt not be named and his family were heading to my place to fix something.  I did NOT want to be there as my emotional state remains a bit fragile, so I suggested we go into Old Town and shop.  I had just shopped and drank some sangria.  Are you really questioning this laughter now?












Last night was the first game of the season for Cal.  We kicked butt.  Want to see me smirk?  Check for a win...  GO BEARS!

 I really am a hot beast, not gonna lie.  I rock the aviators like they were made for me.

 And last, but not least, a better view of the new hair.  I think I'm going to have to keep it like this for a while.  I am IN LOVE with it.  Ain't nobody stopping me now!

P.s. Want a hot, cheap date?  Call 555-BRING IT

P.p.s.  What did I buy?  A hot bustier (no, nobody to wear it for YET... maybe this time I'll finally find a guy who likes this stuff???  Whoops, forgot to warn dad not to read...), a dress that is SUPER cute, shoes that are fun, and a few knick knacks.  Oh, and because I'm not only a cheap date and stunning, but a wonderful daughter, I got my mommy three gifts.  You heard me right.  I'm all about keeping my loved ones rolling in it.