Lo seems to be ridiculously excited that I'm spending Super Bowl with her. Not gonna lie, I'm ridiculously excited myself. Let me break down a little convo for you - you may or may not understand why we're friends by the end of it...
Lo: Maybe we should make a couple of those "healthy snacks" for Super Bowl... to go with our El Som
(Notes: healthy snacks are generally only healthy if you have one bite of one... neither of us are known for one single bite of anything. Second, El Som is a Mexican joint where you get fat just by looking at the building it's housed in)
Me: Awesome. I can handle that!
Lo: And beer
Me: I need all of one. You know how slow I drink. LOL
Blah blah blah...
Lo: I'm so excited for El Som (with a weird happy face)
Me: ME TOO (with another weird happy face with hearts on it)
Lo: Maybe you make your guac so we have enough!
Me: And cheaper than el som's!
Lo: Totally, we're so smart sometimes
Me: Sometimes being the key word there... LOL
Lo: Lol you caught that part
Me: Duh...
And this is why we are friends. Bonding over El Som, being only sometimes smart, and being incapable of having only one bite of anything... rephrase, one bite of anything that's YUMMY.
Clearly, I'm not excited AT ALL about going home.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
True Story
Friday, January 27, 2012
Magnetic
So y'all know you're supposed to add "in bed" to the end of your fortunes when reading a fortune cookie, right?
My fortune last night: You have a magnetic personality.
Hehehehe...
My fortune last night: You have a magnetic personality.
Hehehehe...
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Hey, Baby!
I may or may not have once upon a time told the story of going to the Howard "smoker" with the lil sis. Yesterday, I had a small experience that reminded me of this experience...
Recap: she and I were getting ready, when I put on my dress, and promptly inquired if my butt was too big. Her response was something to the effect of - it's a Black school, they love big asses, so they'll love you.
So yesterday, I'm walking out of Starbs and a man opens the door for me. He doesn't give two rat's rear end looking at my face or front, so I just stroll out. Then he gets a look at the butt and next thing I hear? "Heyyyyyy baby". And to think I was feeling so skinny and apparently the booty was large and in charge. Whoo!
Then there's the question of how I attract men who speak little English and have accents thick as can be. I don't get it. I can barely understand them or hear them! Yet, they flock... It just doesn't make sense to me!
Oh the life of me just continues to be oh so fun.
Recap: she and I were getting ready, when I put on my dress, and promptly inquired if my butt was too big. Her response was something to the effect of - it's a Black school, they love big asses, so they'll love you.
So yesterday, I'm walking out of Starbs and a man opens the door for me. He doesn't give two rat's rear end looking at my face or front, so I just stroll out. Then he gets a look at the butt and next thing I hear? "Heyyyyyy baby". And to think I was feeling so skinny and apparently the booty was large and in charge. Whoo!
Then there's the question of how I attract men who speak little English and have accents thick as can be. I don't get it. I can barely understand them or hear them! Yet, they flock... It just doesn't make sense to me!
Oh the life of me just continues to be oh so fun.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The C-Man
I have a little man in my life this week. I get to help get him ready for school and take him to school every morning this week.
Lately, he's picked up some bad habits from the adults around him, and his young adult older brother. We're all working on our bad habits, so we don't continue his. Oh, I suppose I should mention he's four.
I was strapping him into his car seat, about to do the crotch buckles, when he says to me with his most angelic face, "Don't crunch my nuts".
Oh, having the control to smile and explain a more proper wording choice while wanting to die laughing is the true sign of an adult.
Or so I have to figure, because that was the funniest thing this week and I didn't know I possessed such control.
Lately, he's picked up some bad habits from the adults around him, and his young adult older brother. We're all working on our bad habits, so we don't continue his. Oh, I suppose I should mention he's four.
I was strapping him into his car seat, about to do the crotch buckles, when he says to me with his most angelic face, "Don't crunch my nuts".
Oh, having the control to smile and explain a more proper wording choice while wanting to die laughing is the true sign of an adult.
Or so I have to figure, because that was the funniest thing this week and I didn't know I possessed such control.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Beans!
Again, reminder, waiting for sleepytime meds to hit. So if I crack out by the end of this... it is SO not my fault.
Preface to the story: I've been craving beans for about a week. No, it has nothing to do with anything having to do with being female. I just wanted beans.
So tonight. I'm kinda sick. I'm kinda cranky. I kinda just want a hug. Well, a hug was just kinda not happening, so I decided to get off my sick ass and go get my damn beans.
I ended up deciding to hit a drive-thru, Taco Bell specifically (Hi Lynn!), for a multitude of reasons: (1) It was raining and why would I want to get wet? (2) I didn't want a whole can, just some beans. So off I go in the rain, in workout pants, a sweatshirt, nice flats, and no bra. Yes, that's how sleazy I was tonight.
I get to the little order box and the lady asks if she may take my order. I say, "yes please!". And wait... apparently I was supposed to start ordering right away.
Lady: Ready whenever you are.
Me: Oh! I'm sorry! I'd like a side of beans please.
Lady: Beans with what?
Me: Just beans.
Lady: Beans?
Me: Yup.
Lady: Did you want... cheese on the... beans?
Me: Sure!
Lady: Is that all you want?
Me: Yup!
Lady: Just beans?
Me: Just beans!
Lady: Are you sure?
Me: Oh ok, one more thing.
Lady: Yes?
Me: a diet pepsi please
Lady: Uhhh, ok. A side of... beans... with cheese... and a... diet pepsi.
Me: Thank you!
(My mother insists that because I flip people off while driving, I'm a Southern Hick Slut - I insist the southern part is my impeccable manners even when creeping people out)
I get to the window and the lady opens it. I hand her my hard earned dough and she says, "Beans." I just smile sweetly at her and say, "What can I say? I just really wanted beans." She just looked at me, laughed and said, "Coming right up!"
Then I called mom on the way home to regale her with this latest story. I giggled my way through telling it. I giggled, while on the phone, all the way home. I giggled and laughed so hard at myself, I cried.
I then said to my mother, "You know mom, my life would be really boring and un-amusing if I weren't in it. It's a good thing I'm around because I just haven't found anybody who amuses me as much as I amuse myself."
My mother: Morgan, I've been around for 63 whole years and I can tell you right now, I've never met anybody who amuses themselves and others like you do. And yes, it's a good thing you have you, otherwise, there'd be no you.
(Ok, so I make dumbass comments sometimes. Shhhh).
And to end this blog, I have a little song. (This is dedicated to my mother who demanded I not end a blog with this particular topic because it would embarrass her...)
"Beans, beans, the magical fruit...
The more you eat, the more you toot...
The more you toot, the better you feel...
So eat your beans for every meal!"
(A picture of the beans!)
Preface to the story: I've been craving beans for about a week. No, it has nothing to do with anything having to do with being female. I just wanted beans.
So tonight. I'm kinda sick. I'm kinda cranky. I kinda just want a hug. Well, a hug was just kinda not happening, so I decided to get off my sick ass and go get my damn beans.
I ended up deciding to hit a drive-thru, Taco Bell specifically (Hi Lynn!), for a multitude of reasons: (1) It was raining and why would I want to get wet? (2) I didn't want a whole can, just some beans. So off I go in the rain, in workout pants, a sweatshirt, nice flats, and no bra. Yes, that's how sleazy I was tonight.
I get to the little order box and the lady asks if she may take my order. I say, "yes please!". And wait... apparently I was supposed to start ordering right away.
Lady: Ready whenever you are.
Me: Oh! I'm sorry! I'd like a side of beans please.
Lady: Beans with what?
Me: Just beans.
Lady: Beans?
Me: Yup.
Lady: Did you want... cheese on the... beans?
Me: Sure!
Lady: Is that all you want?
Me: Yup!
Lady: Just beans?
Me: Just beans!
Lady: Are you sure?
Me: Oh ok, one more thing.
Lady: Yes?
Me: a diet pepsi please
Lady: Uhhh, ok. A side of... beans... with cheese... and a... diet pepsi.
Me: Thank you!
(My mother insists that because I flip people off while driving, I'm a Southern Hick Slut - I insist the southern part is my impeccable manners even when creeping people out)
I get to the window and the lady opens it. I hand her my hard earned dough and she says, "Beans." I just smile sweetly at her and say, "What can I say? I just really wanted beans." She just looked at me, laughed and said, "Coming right up!"
Then I called mom on the way home to regale her with this latest story. I giggled my way through telling it. I giggled, while on the phone, all the way home. I giggled and laughed so hard at myself, I cried.
I then said to my mother, "You know mom, my life would be really boring and un-amusing if I weren't in it. It's a good thing I'm around because I just haven't found anybody who amuses me as much as I amuse myself."
My mother: Morgan, I've been around for 63 whole years and I can tell you right now, I've never met anybody who amuses themselves and others like you do. And yes, it's a good thing you have you, otherwise, there'd be no you.
(Ok, so I make dumbass comments sometimes. Shhhh).
And to end this blog, I have a little song. (This is dedicated to my mother who demanded I not end a blog with this particular topic because it would embarrass her...)
"Beans, beans, the magical fruit...
The more you eat, the more you toot...
The more you toot, the better you feel...
So eat your beans for every meal!"
(A picture of the beans!)
Truth
I'm poking through my tumblr as I'm waiting for the beautific drug known as "Tylenol PM" to kick in and I found this one photo and quote that just really made sense to me... I'm feeling like playing a lil Jackson Browne "Running on Empty"...
Then I keep on trucking through my tumblr and oh ho. Did the truth of the universe really hit me then...
Perfect match, huh? Everybody who's found that, raise your hand! Uh huh, that's what I thought. Oh wait - there's one, in the way back corner! I feel like that was harder than it should have been...
And now, something that has nothing to do with anything other than I thought Lo would love it.
Then I keep on trucking through my tumblr and oh ho. Did the truth of the universe really hit me then...
Perfect match, huh? Everybody who's found that, raise your hand! Uh huh, that's what I thought. Oh wait - there's one, in the way back corner! I feel like that was harder than it should have been...
And now, something that has nothing to do with anything other than I thought Lo would love it.
Sunshine!
I really shouldn't be this mean and post this...
But I really just can't help myself...
If you also died laughing, you have explained why we are friends and why you are following me.
If you didn't die laughing, ask yourself where your happy, fun self has gone, then go find it, come back, and laugh then.
And you keep on hangin' in there sunshine!
But I really just can't help myself...
If you also died laughing, you have explained why we are friends and why you are following me.
If you didn't die laughing, ask yourself where your happy, fun self has gone, then go find it, come back, and laugh then.
And you keep on hangin' in there sunshine!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Bad Habit
For this of you who have known me for longer than five minutes, you know I have one particularly bad habit.
I drink a lot of liquids wherever I'm at, don't go to the bathroom, and always get stuck with a long commute home.
Well, it's happened again. But, tonight, it's worse.
I'm sitting on train one of my two train commute (with a 20 minute wait between trains), when I read an advertisement. It's a Mickey D's ad and it says something the effect that it's so good, it'll make you pop. I totally thought it said, it's so good, it'll make you poop. Then I almost peed my pants trying so hard not to laugh out loud and make people look at me funny.
Welcome to my life.
I drink a lot of liquids wherever I'm at, don't go to the bathroom, and always get stuck with a long commute home.
Well, it's happened again. But, tonight, it's worse.
I'm sitting on train one of my two train commute (with a 20 minute wait between trains), when I read an advertisement. It's a Mickey D's ad and it says something the effect that it's so good, it'll make you pop. I totally thought it said, it's so good, it'll make you poop. Then I almost peed my pants trying so hard not to laugh out loud and make people look at me funny.
Welcome to my life.
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