16

Today... I wogged 16 miles.  You heard me.  I could take you along the scenic route with me, but let's just say it was technically pretty, saw some monuments, saw some water, saw some trees.  What more do you need?

It took me approximately 16 minutes to get out of my car.  One toe at a time.  To which I then needed the door for support to actually hoist myself up.  The remainder of that time?  Bent over laughing at myself, trying not to pee my pants.

It took me approximately 16 minutes to get up to my apartment.  Every step was a waddle in the right direction.  One - my legs hurt.  Two - did I mention I drank a lot of water???

It took me approximately 16 minutes to get my pants down.  Have YOU ever tried getting insanely sweaty tight pants off your body?  Mmmhhhmm, don't knock it til you try it.  The rest of that time was, yet again, spent bent over laughing trying not to pee my pants.  Yes, the toilet was RIGHT THERE.

It took me approximately 16 minutes to get all the stuff together for my chocolate shake I was so excited about yesterday.  It took me all of 16 seconds to find out my blender doesn't work.  And now that I don't have a handy man to fix these things for me... well... I'm f**ked.

On the yesterday blog notes: I'm pretty sure my grandmother rolled in her grave when I said penis in my blog.  I'm pretty sure my mother dropped her head to her desk in shame and said to herself, "it's all her father's fault - she gets it from THAT side of the family."  I'm pretty sure my dad said, "how in the hell does she know what a penis is?!" 

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar." ~Raymond Lundquist
(A: I'm a Lundquist on the passed grandmother side.  B: I've had lots of courage this week.  C: Do I have the courage to attempt to fix my blender myself?  Or is that just a massive accident waiting to happen?)