I called my mother on my way home from the boy's house... who, by the way, was kind enough to escort me to a party.
So I see something out of the corner of my eye and say out loud: I think it's a cow!
My mother responds: I'm pretty sure there are not cows in Rock Creek Park Morgan.
Me: Ok, then, it was a really fat deer!
This then leads into a conversation about cows. I asked about wild cows, to which my mother noted there is no such thing. I wondered how cows came to be then. Mom mentions God and that didn't they have to put two of each animal on the ark? To which I then noted: Yeah, so they could fuck like bunnies and procreate. Wait, how did the term fuck like bunnies come about?
Mom had bunnies. That procreated. A lot. As such, she assumes the gestation period for a bunny is quite short. You see, she claims she knows these things because she grew up in a farm town. I happened to look this up. The gestation period for a bunny is about 31 days.
Then we were back to the cows. And how there is no such thing as a wild cow. Mom says this is true because who would milk the udders? And if the udders are milked, then they burst. I demanded she go ask dad if this is true. Why in the world I thought my father would know, don't ask me. But it turned out he did. Udders don't burst, they just dry up. So now... do wild cows exist? Then mom and I couldn't figure out what copulates with cows. I began to doubt mama's farm knowledge.
This doubt only increased with the discussion about chickens. She asked about eggs, etc. I then pointed out to her that when she eats eggs, she's essentially eating chicken embryos. Wait... what?! Mama was a little grossed out and asked how this could be. So I explained that this is why the eggs must be collected as they're made, because if they're kept warm enough by the hen for long enough, then a chicky is made! Mom asked dad if this was true, to which he replied, yup! Mom remains grossed out that she eats embryos...
So mom's farm knowledge? Needs some work. Dad's random fount of knowledge? Solid. Although, not knowing the gestation period of bunnies works against him. And yes, he knew what copulates with cows.
Or in my world...
BOVINE!
So I see something out of the corner of my eye and say out loud: I think it's a cow!
My mother responds: I'm pretty sure there are not cows in Rock Creek Park Morgan.
Me: Ok, then, it was a really fat deer!
This then leads into a conversation about cows. I asked about wild cows, to which my mother noted there is no such thing. I wondered how cows came to be then. Mom mentions God and that didn't they have to put two of each animal on the ark? To which I then noted: Yeah, so they could fuck like bunnies and procreate. Wait, how did the term fuck like bunnies come about?
Mom had bunnies. That procreated. A lot. As such, she assumes the gestation period for a bunny is quite short. You see, she claims she knows these things because she grew up in a farm town. I happened to look this up. The gestation period for a bunny is about 31 days.
Then we were back to the cows. And how there is no such thing as a wild cow. Mom says this is true because who would milk the udders? And if the udders are milked, then they burst. I demanded she go ask dad if this is true. Why in the world I thought my father would know, don't ask me. But it turned out he did. Udders don't burst, they just dry up. So now... do wild cows exist? Then mom and I couldn't figure out what copulates with cows. I began to doubt mama's farm knowledge.
This doubt only increased with the discussion about chickens. She asked about eggs, etc. I then pointed out to her that when she eats eggs, she's essentially eating chicken embryos. Wait... what?! Mama was a little grossed out and asked how this could be. So I explained that this is why the eggs must be collected as they're made, because if they're kept warm enough by the hen for long enough, then a chicky is made! Mom asked dad if this was true, to which he replied, yup! Mom remains grossed out that she eats embryos...
So mom's farm knowledge? Needs some work. Dad's random fount of knowledge? Solid. Although, not knowing the gestation period of bunnies works against him. And yes, he knew what copulates with cows.
Or in my world...
BOVINE!
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