Potty Time!... Or... Party Time!

I know, I know.  You're already worried.  And you really should be...

I was ambushed.  A friend of mine asked me to help her out, as she had to do something for her grandmother.  Me being me, really just couldn't say no, cause duuuuuuuuuude.  I really am just THAT nice.  Shocking, I am aware.

What exactly is it that we are to do?  Get a potty.

You read that right.  We had to head into granny's storage and find one of those potties that makes it so you don't have to lower yourself all the way to the lid (or you could be like me and want to be a lazy butt and not even get that much exercise...).  Granny's about to have more hip surgery, so really, how could I NOT help?  I mean, it's granny man!

I ended up at the storage unit first.  To which my girl called me and said she was going to be late and told me to get started without her... uhhh... ok... First I had to get a key from the front desk.  Except they didn't have A key, but four of them.  Then she walked me through it...

"Ok, I don't really remember the storage room or unit number, but if you go down to x floor... wait no, go to z floor and walk out.  When you're facing the hallway, go left and go to the end."  (I follow like a good little girl).  "Ok, it's the door on the end on the left."  (It was, of course, the last key I tried that worked).  "Now go in..." (Duh?) "And go to the last unit on the right.  You'll pass a bunch of others."  (No, really?)  "The lock combo is..."  Woohoo!  Phone died and lock is off.  Whatever, I'm there now, I got this.

Except I really don't.  First I take musty, old egg crate.  To which I then discovered some spiders upon moving.  EEEWWWW.  I am SO not mature enough for this (clearly as I'm now writing a blog about it...).  I FINALLY see it, buried in the back.  So I start pulling stuff out to get to it.  When I discover...

There's a chandelier sitting in the seat.  I'm pretty sure I should hit Mother Teresa level for the duty I am about to perform.  I manage to somehow use my womanly muscles and move the chandelier out.  Nevermind it's not a particularly big chandelier, but hey now, this is my story and since I fully intend to make me the hero of it...

Voila!  The potty has been rescued!  Now to get the rest of the crap, ahem, lovely paraphernalia, back into the unit.  While smelling like granny.  No joke.  I have no idea how to clean my jacket, but I will find a way... as a way is utterly necessary.  Since I'd prefer to not smell like gram.  You never know when I'll need to smell attractive, I mean, if I got the chance to run away with Aaron Rodgers tomorrow... hhhmmm... homeboy better come up with a reason for me to stay!

Anyways, then I couldn't get the lock back on.  There was another whole fiasco that ended up with me carrying a Christmas tree stand in the bowl of the potty.  You can imagine the looks I got from that adventure.

And now... we have ourselves a real life Porta - Potty, cause hey now, I ported that potty like there was no tomorrow.

And let the jokes begin...