Toilet Humor

*Warning*: Topics amusing to 5 year olds ahead.  If you consider yourself too good to enjoy what a 5 year old does, I'd suggest not reading ahead.

Yesterday, I was sent a link to an article, "Toilet Seat Dermatitis Making a Comeback" by Jennifer Warner.  Apparently, this is a special kind of rash on the poor heinies of children due to wooden toilet seats (um, what???) or harsh chemical cleaners.  Once thought to be obliterated in this country, apparently this condition is now on the list of pediatrician must-know.

This makes me think of the last few days and how they have somehow surrounded the posterior region.  No, I am not about to regale you with stories of my own (although mine did get checked out rather obviously as I walked down the hallway to my apartment... but no bragging).

The other day in yoga, a young man was on the mat in front of me.  I've seen him before and thought nothing of it.  Until he started shifting.  He'd lift his hip up and then would come the smell.  I kid you not.  In a room that is over 100 degrees and this man is pulling this kind of activity... or should I say pushing?  And he was right in front of me!!!  This was not one of my more thrilling days in yoga to say the least.

And then last night a friend and I were talking about relationships and sneaking in statements that would throw another person off guard, a sneak attack.  She happens to think of something else when discussing sneak attacks.  When I then get a text message to this effect, "on the bus today, i farted.  it smelled.  i didn't care.  so there."  My essential response?  Remind me not to ride a bus with you.  I then got regaled with other stories of such activities, including always warning friends of what's coming.  I'm pretty sure I still don't want to be on a bus with this person.

So I'm off to write my proposal, work, go to yoga, and hopefully have no other posterior related incidents in the process.

Although, please, feel free to regale me with stories of your own personal posterior set backs or recent experiences with others who have chosen to share their posterior hot air.