ER Trips

I know, I bet you're wondering how in the world I can make an ER trip, make that two ER trips, funny.  Or fun.

Puh-lease, this is me we're talking about.  Granted, trip number two was not remotely as funny at the time, there are memories...

Trip number one was not done during a time of immense pain.  Therefore, there was much joking to be had with the nurses and doctor.  Let me tell you about the attractiveness that I was that night: burgandy soft pants that my butt looks huge in, a yellow Cal sweatshirt, a camo shirt under that, and a total granny bra under that.  Don't forget the cute little black shoes.  Yah, really.  I looked hot... make that like a hot mess.

I got hooked up to an IV, had a CT and then... the spinal tap.  Where I had to curl into this tight ball hanging over the food tray.  By then I had a gown on, but yay!  I kept my pants.  I was NOT one of those people roaming the halls with my heinie hanging out.  Now THAT would have been a sight for sore eyes.  Ok, that kinda hurt, not going to lie, but then I got even more drugs and was even loopier.  Best part of all of that?  I got to drive home.  Like a 100-year blind as a bat old fart. 

Trip number two was not quite so eventful.  I looked like shiza, but mainly because I hurt so bad, but my little outfit was cute!  Not that that's saying much... I was asked if I wanted to be left alone at the hospital (I almost wrote high school.. apparently the vicodan is still affecting me...), to which I almost gave a dirty eyeball, but that would have hurt too much.  I'm not going to name names, but the bedside manner of some people needs work.  Just sayin'.  I'm pretty sure I walked in with my brother.  Yes, yes, I don't have a brother, but it felt like I did...  You know, the teenage brothers who don't dare touch their sisters cause of cooties?  Yah, that kind.  Not only did I have horrendous head pains and a sore back, but I also had cooties.  Apparently I frequently have cooties, but that's for another blog...

So I'm still on the big daddy drugs.  I wish I could say I'm having a really good time on them... but I'm really not.  If I'm going to take big daddy drugs, I'd like to be a giggle monster and put on comedy routines.  I guess that's just asking for too much though.

Speaking of drugs... time to go pop some.