Not Again...

Remember that story... waaaaaay back when... about my question about One-A-Day multivitamins?  The question was: how many times a day do I take the one-a-day multivitamin?  Yeah...

Well, I stopped taking it because it gave me heartburn, but then I realized I may have been taking the wrong kind.  So I got a different kind of the One-A-Day's.  I woke up this morning, took my five billion meds for the sickness that I STILL have, then promptly asked myself how many times a day and how many in a day of the One-A-Day's I should be taking.

Apparently I don't always learn the first time around...

Speed Dating + Pics

Last night was my first real foray back into the world of dating after getting my suckered heart broken to smithereens.  It was a doozy of a night.

I purposefully chose a Sunday night and a joint in Rockville, as I assumed it wouldn't have quite as many people.  Then I got myself all into a dither about what I would wear, like it's really all that particularly difficult (as in it's not for those of you who don't get my sarcasm).

So let's start with picture one.

Because you can't see, those shoes are high heeled TEAL pumps.  And can we note the skinny?  I SWORE I'd be one of those exes who just gets hotter post break-up.  Let's take a vote.  How am I looking?

Oh, I see.  You're not convinced.  Here's another before the stories of the evening.

I managed to use my stellar powers of persuasion and convinced Mare to go with me.  And thank you Jesus I managed to do this, otherwise I wouldn't have proof or a witness to this particular evening.

We walked in and were surrounded by women.  Uh oh.  This can't be good.  We fought our way to the bar and started chatting with a couple of guys.  The only young one there and a dude who was at least 50 years old, white hair and balding.  I couldn't tell you their names, because, really?  Are these people I truly need to remember?  One - the young one split not even halfway through.  The old one managed to find a girl.  I mean, woman.  I think.  I really kind of just stopped looking.  Since Mare and I were clearly the youngest ones there.

Or should I mention the Bill Maher look alike?  Only a lil chunkier and with longer hair?  And drunk as a flaming skunk?

Or how about the uni-brow guy with greasy hair who responded to the question of, "how are you tonight?" with "I'm out of the house, so that's something."

Or the guy who didn't know how to speak his plurals?

Or that every man has been to California and LOVES it?  I mean, really, LOVES it?  Man, I'm from there and even I don't love it that much, so I really want some of what they're all smoking.

Or what about the guy who kept poking his forehead?  Like he needed help remembering things?  He too was balding.

Or the short dude from Chicago with the high-pitched voice that I totally thought was gay?

Or or or the ones that just flowed together because they were all way too old for me?  Gray, balding, probably divorced with children?  I'm sorry, I want a family, but not a ready made one.  Sorry folks - I am just SO not ready for that.

I'm thinking that the next one will be a little better.  Not quite in Suburbia, not on a Sunday night, and it has a specific age range.  I.e. one I'd date in.  I've learned my lesson - I won't speak to men in their 20's. 

Now let me show you just how out of touch I am and just how long it has been.  This was supposed to be my sexy pucker.

Is it just me or do I (a) look confused?  (b) have bumpy hair?  and (c) have my mouth looking just deformed?

Sushi???

I am SO upset.  I am so in the mood for sushi and since I'll be in Bethesda getting my hairs did tomorrow, I figured I'd get some sushi.

Problem is this: The boy toy took me to a sushi joint in Bethesda during one of his times of actually deigning to be seen in public with me.  It was good, it was cheap, and I really want it.

Hell if I know where it is.  I think I know, but we all know me and my directional sense.  I am directionally challenged and this is charming at times, but currently a total negative.

Remind me next time, before I break up with whoever comes next, if I break up that is, to collect all the information of restaurants I loved.  Oh and remind me to put the handyman services to use too.  Oh and if they owe me for being their chauffeur service, remind me to collect payment.  Oh and remind me not to spend so much money if I'm pretty sure I'm never getting my Christmas present.

Ok, all of that being said... damnit!  I am DYING to know where this place is.  Gggggrrrr.

Nibblers

My feet have been nibbled on.

I know, sounds kind of hot, right?  I mean, really now.  Except for two minor things.

1)  I'm just not into feet.  Unless they're being massaged after a full body deal.

2)  It wasn't male related.  It was bugs.

And scratching those suckers hurts so good.

Random Fun

• I posted a random survey to one of my five billion blog sites... I figured the readers here would thoroughly enjoy an insight into my life... like they don't get one daily...
• ✂: Share one of the hardest moments in your life. 
• I'll share one of the most recent - having to ask my mother for 11k so I can finish this stupid degree that I'll maybe be able to get a job from.  Man, that sucked.
• æ: Post a picture of yourself 
• Um, look left.  It's right there.  
• ✌: Share a childhood memory 
• So there was this time, that Lo said something or other, and I totally thought she'd said cheesehead.  And was calling me a cheesehead.  So I asked her why I'm a cheesehead.  She was really confused.  I really wouldn't ask about our relationship.  It's special.  And no, I'm not referring to the sappy, music fills the air, flowers scent the air special.  I'm referencing the OTHER kind, you know, the totally un-pc kind, of special.
• ♡: Make a confession 
• I almost e-mailed Thou Who Shalt Not Be Named last night.  I have no idea what I would have said.  I have no idea what would have come out.  I do know that it would have been pathetic and weak.  But yeah, almost did it.  Whew to NOT being pathetic and weak.
• ❁: Share one of your insecurities 
• It wasn't an insecurity before Thou Who Shalt Not Be Named, but it became one.  I'm too loud, obnoxious, and fat.  But I'm really not.  But I worry that I am.  This is what happens when I'm stuffed into a closet like a pair of last seasons heels.
• ✓: Share something about yourself others might think is weird. 
• Everybody thinks everything is weird about me. Um, toilet paper needs to go OVER, not under.  I can't stand when your/you're or their/there/they're is mis-used.  Let's see what else...I have absolutely no shame.  Clearly.  If you didn't note that one already, I'm kind of worried about you.
• ☹: Share a turn off 
• Smoking.  Disgusting.  Put it out peeps.  Save your, and my, lungs.
• ☀: Share a turn on 
• Do I even remember what a turn on is?!  Um... um... um... well crap.  I have absolutely no recollection of what a turn on is for me.  That and my father reads this blog - in his world, I don't even know what sex is.
• ♬: Share a song that takes you to a certain memory in the past. 
• Ridin' Solo.  Thou... TWSNBN is easier.  It was one of his favorite songs for a while.  I remember looking at him going, excuse you?  Gee, how auspicious.
• ☆: Share one thing you think about before you you go to bed at night 
• OMG.  It's a school day tomorrow.  OMG.  I have NO clothes.  OMG.  I have to get up to workout.  Wait - who am I kidding?  OMG.  My legs really itch.  *Scratch scratch*  Oh, that explains it - they're really hairy.  (Note the proper usage of they're). That gives you the general gist of my nightly thoughts.  I know, SO boring.  It should really be... OMG.  Those pecs are SO hot.  How did I end up with this fine piece of ass?... Yeah, in my dreams.  We should all be that lucky.

Biker Babe

We all know how my Thursday went. I would love to report that yesterday and today I feel better, but alas, I would be lying. Yesterday I had to go into school for something, which is a change because I don't teach on Fridays due to class.

I'm at Starbucks waiting in line. I gave my order and the guy came back to ask me a question, which I didn't hear because my already crappy hearing is now being further impeded by this delightful illness. So the guy in line behind me lets me know I'm being hailed, smiles at me, and I crack some sort of joke. When I go to pay with the wonderful Starbs app on my iPhone (have I mentioned I love that thing?), the guy and I take a moment to chat about that.

He's not bad looking, although a wee bit old and a wee bit skinny. Then my brilliant powers of observation notices that he has a bike helmet. Not the pump your legs and get exercise kind, but the vroom vroom kind. I'm already a bitch, so there is just mo need to make me a biker bitch. Hell will have come to Earth if that ever happens.

Then I go out and he's smoking. That's on the list of big fat no no's. So he was clearly not meant to be at the outset. But it was nice to have somebody show some kind of interest, especially when disgustingly ill.

That's the funny story - now for the one that made me happy. While at school for the jtiny bit I was there, I talked to the para-educator in mky first period class. She said that this girl who I always thought hated me was asking after me and bummed that I wasn't going to be coming to class. Yay! It is SO nice to know that somebody actually gives a rat's ass. Other than creepy student that is.

A Special Student

Today was an interesting day on the ol' teaching front.  The teacher I work with was gone today, so I was the one teaching.  Of course, today is the day that I'm sneezy, coughy, runny nosey, and sore throaty.  Did I forget to mention standing upright was an interesting task?  All I could say to a friend of mine when I got home was, "I'm sick, cranky, and there's nobody here to take care of me."  And then all I could do was feel sorry for myself because I haven't been taken care of in forever.  So this is an idea of my feelings throughout the day.

Because, for the first time EVER when working with students, I was creeped out.  This is not to say that random students walking down the hallways haven't weirded me out, but I'm talking about MY students to ME.

A young man walks up to me to hand something in and says, "Your hairs are soft."  Ok, so I happen to be wearing my hair curly today.  But wait, what?!  Is that supposed to be a compliment when you've never touched my hairs?  So all those times I've felt like this kid is watching me has now been verified.  As it gets better.

He comes up to me to turn something else in.  Makes sure his hand touches mine.  Makes sure to make hardcore eye contact.  Then says to me, "You have really pretty eyes."  UM?!  I'm old kid!  And your teacher!  And and and, eeeewwww!  So now I'm creeped out.

But I'm pretty sure y'all are laughing.

Thanks.  Really.