So I'm definitely not going to mention who I've been speaking to this morning, as this conversation is hilarious, but I'd get my ass kicked from here to next Tuesday if I noted who was conversing with me. I will say it is a working to get healthy friend.
Person: These shorts make my ass large and in charge
Me: a totally derogatory compliment about how certain peoples love such asses
Person: Lol, it's wide... I need a wide load sign
Me: I don't mean to laugh, cause I really shouldn't, cause put the two of us together and we need a double wide sign!
Person: Leakage!
Person: Ewww! Mwahahahaha. I meant LOL!
Best.
Conversation.
EVER.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
Cougar
I was just in Starbs to waste some time before an interview. I'm wearing a dress that hits below the knee and a little sweater on top, plus a pair of black flats. My make-up is simple, as is my jewelry.
I just got hit on by two 21 year olds.
So either I look young ad hot (let's add skinny for the hell of it) or... I look like a cougar.
Did I forget to mention the rocking grey hair?!
Let's bet which type they were going for...
I just got hit on by two 21 year olds.
So either I look young ad hot (let's add skinny for the hell of it) or... I look like a cougar.
Did I forget to mention the rocking grey hair?!
Let's bet which type they were going for...
Chix
Yesterday, it was suggested that some friends and I go to dinner at a place called "Chix" in DC, as tomorrow I run 8 miles and I do not want to be eating foods that will make me regret going two feet.
So this morning I went to chix.com... let's just say... that wasn't the restaurant page. In fact, it was a porno page.
Maybe I should be checking in with certain men in my life to see what they're up to in their spare time?!
Only I would somehow stumble on porno. Good morning Morgan!
Chix=Chicks. Ha. That's funny.
So this morning I went to chix.com... let's just say... that wasn't the restaurant page. In fact, it was a porno page.
Maybe I should be checking in with certain men in my life to see what they're up to in their spare time?!
Only I would somehow stumble on porno. Good morning Morgan!
Chix=Chicks. Ha. That's funny.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Pretty Girl
A "friend" (i.e. some random chick I don't know, but I "know" because we follow each other online... follow me?) of mine wrote this on her tumblr:
I wish I was one of those pretty girls. The ones who get all the guys looking at her as she walks past. The one who could get any guy she wanted. The one who wakes up looking beautiful, effortlessly. The one with the flawless skin, the pretty eyes, the gorgeous hair and the perfect figure. One of those girls who live their life with confidence. I wish I was one of those girls, but I'm not. I'm just me.
I stopped and considered. I've never been pretty.... ok, we all know my ego is a little bigger than that, I consider myself stuffing... I mean... stunning. I mean, I get guys who look at me when I walk past, it's just generally because I have toilet paper under my shoe, a booger hanging out my nose, or my thong poking out like a hick in a WalMart. I definitely don't get any guy I want... but that's cause I got the one I want (ok honeypie, I paid you lip service, cough up something shiny). I wake up flawless... flawless in my knowledge that my hair is a rat's nest, my boobs have sweated through the night and probably smell, and again, that booger thing (I'm pretty sure honeypie is now re-thinking this relationship). I've never had perfect skin, but that's what make-up is for, I do have pretty eyes, so woohoo, I got one on the list, hair that's a little strange and a little out of the blue, and a figure that puts in the wrong time period - I was MADE to be a Renaissance gal. In those days, a little extra was a sign of wealth. Ho boy, in some time period, I would be RICH. As for the confidence deal... well, um... me? Confident? NEVER. Don't know what you talking about.
Really.
But I am just me.
Love me anyways?
I wish I was one of those pretty girls. The ones who get all the guys looking at her as she walks past. The one who could get any guy she wanted. The one who wakes up looking beautiful, effortlessly. The one with the flawless skin, the pretty eyes, the gorgeous hair and the perfect figure. One of those girls who live their life with confidence. I wish I was one of those girls, but I'm not. I'm just me.
I stopped and considered. I've never been pretty.... ok, we all know my ego is a little bigger than that, I consider myself stuffing... I mean... stunning. I mean, I get guys who look at me when I walk past, it's just generally because I have toilet paper under my shoe, a booger hanging out my nose, or my thong poking out like a hick in a WalMart. I definitely don't get any guy I want... but that's cause I got the one I want (ok honeypie, I paid you lip service, cough up something shiny). I wake up flawless... flawless in my knowledge that my hair is a rat's nest, my boobs have sweated through the night and probably smell, and again, that booger thing (I'm pretty sure honeypie is now re-thinking this relationship). I've never had perfect skin, but that's what make-up is for, I do have pretty eyes, so woohoo, I got one on the list, hair that's a little strange and a little out of the blue, and a figure that puts in the wrong time period - I was MADE to be a Renaissance gal. In those days, a little extra was a sign of wealth. Ho boy, in some time period, I would be RICH. As for the confidence deal... well, um... me? Confident? NEVER. Don't know what you talking about.
Really.
But I am just me.
Love me anyways?
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Not My Usual Funny
Today has been one of "those" days, where the morning started crappy and the day just got progressively worse.
I've been feeling lonely lately and not much has been changed to make that otherwise. So I struck out today, because that's easier than admitting to being lonely.
I then got called moody in the process. Lauren, what would your response be to this? I'm going to guess Lauren's response: no fucking shit, you just figured this out about her?!
So I was sitting on my porch after lots of brouhaha, thinking about what's next. My life is pretty prime right now. I'm figuring out summer plans, school's almost out (for the moment), and I'm training. Honestly? I haven't felt, overall, this good in a while. I'm actually working to accomplish something. I realized sitting there I don't give my brain quite enough credit, or the accomplishments in schooling that I have made. It comes fairly easily to me and I don't give the successes enough credit. But... I'm doing something now that I do give myself credit for. Every run I do, every day that I workout, is a step toward the end. So I'll keep raising money because I want this. I want to finally finish something I start.
I wrote this blog sitting on my porch, feeling out of sorts. An email comes in and my little heart goes pitter patter, but it was not to be (there are others in this world as stubborn as I). It was an email from facebook that I almost did not read.
But I did read it. It was a post on a page of a group I belong to. Frank wrote the post, a young man I knew in college. His son was killed in a tragic accident a couple years back, crossing a street when a car hit him. The post was a memory Frank had written of his young child, a memory of eating a hot dog and going to the movies. My heart broke for Frank the day I heard the news of the tragedy and my heart broke again for him today.
Life is too short and this was a solid slap in the face as a reminder of that. How I've been feeling won't necessarily change, in fact will probably get worse, but how I deal with it can change. I'm lucky. I have a wonderful family, who's mostly healthy. I have friends who step up to the bat for me everyday of the week, including folks like Lauren who have never given up on me, no matter what I do or how I express my feelings.
Do you have a memory of someone, a moment in time that didn't seem all that special to you right then, but that you remember in clarity now? It doesn't have to be just those that have passed away, but anybody. I've got a few that I thought of off the bat and want to share them here.
*I remember sitting in an old school, big ass car and having my papa (mom's father) teach me to knit
*I remember being sick as a dog in Berks, so sick I tried to catch a bus going up the hill on the one street going down the hill. My folks came up to see me, make sure I got better, and my mom and I sat on the couch, me laying against her, both of us reading
*My dad showing up to every single one of my sporting events
*There are a great many memories of Lauren... most that I cannot mention... I kid, I kid! One of our special places is El Som, where we generally order the same thing, and just catch up. Or that I'm always late to her house, when I'm never late to anywhere else.
*Christina is another long-termer from back in the day. She and I have often gotten ready for big events together, the most recent being a Howard thing. I was worried my butt looked fat and she gave me this look, then said: you forget, these are my people, we loooooooooooooove big butts. She also lent me an orchid clip, one of those clippies to hold an orchid upright, to put in my hair. I still have it and still wear it.
*Meghan, whom I rarely speak to anymore, baking me a quiche for my birthday. It drove her nuts because she couldn't cook with two of her staples, onions and peppers.
*Kerry who cries with me. What more needs to be said?
*Christine who always gets the weight loss (and gain...) journey and reminds me to take it easy on myself... this has needed to happen on more than one occasion.
*Joe who always reminds me, especially in my time of need like today, that I do my best to live my life with integrity. I may not always hit the mark, but that I do try.
*Derrick... oh the memories there. Cracking teeth, driving to Pennsyltucky, him being a hotter woman than I on Halloween... you name it, we have it
*Sena who's always loved me, no matter what fights we've gotten into or how different we are
*Lynn, my donut friend (it's time Lynn...) who always gets me when I'm having boy troubles and is always up late with an ear
*People who won't be named, but the memories exist:
-Trying to learn to drive stick. I made it to second. Enough said.
-Friday night Shabbat dinners with granny who didn't speak a lick of English and was of the opinion I speak too fast
-Sitting around the table at TeenLine talking about our life problems and pants being around ankles (I've always been a raunchy soul)
-Hiking through the forest and sharing the first "real" kiss
Have you ever had that experience where you have five billion memories floating around your head and you wish you could just get it down on paper, but they won't sort themselves out?
Regardless, there are many memories and many people I did not mention in this blog and I will spend this week reaching out to them and letting them know that they will always hold a place in my heart.
I sincerely hope I never have to go through the heartbreak that Frank has, the kind where the world stops and getting it to start again seems a ridiculous proposition. Because, as it stands for me, life does go on. I'm going to be me and I'm going to continue to spend my life making me the best version of me that I can. I'm not always going to hit the mark and I'm going to make mistakes, but...
I'm luck enough to have people who love and care about me, who stand by me through bitch and saint.
(If somebody cracks a joke about that halo being held up by horns... so help me God... oh well, who am I kidding? You'd be well within your right)
Life does go on and we are meant to live it. Things happen and all we can do is learn from them and experience them to the max. Not everything works out and some things do. All we can do is enjoy the ride.
And tell some raunchy jokes along the way ;).
I've been feeling lonely lately and not much has been changed to make that otherwise. So I struck out today, because that's easier than admitting to being lonely.
I then got called moody in the process. Lauren, what would your response be to this? I'm going to guess Lauren's response: no fucking shit, you just figured this out about her?!
So I was sitting on my porch after lots of brouhaha, thinking about what's next. My life is pretty prime right now. I'm figuring out summer plans, school's almost out (for the moment), and I'm training. Honestly? I haven't felt, overall, this good in a while. I'm actually working to accomplish something. I realized sitting there I don't give my brain quite enough credit, or the accomplishments in schooling that I have made. It comes fairly easily to me and I don't give the successes enough credit. But... I'm doing something now that I do give myself credit for. Every run I do, every day that I workout, is a step toward the end. So I'll keep raising money because I want this. I want to finally finish something I start.
I wrote this blog sitting on my porch, feeling out of sorts. An email comes in and my little heart goes pitter patter, but it was not to be (there are others in this world as stubborn as I). It was an email from facebook that I almost did not read.
But I did read it. It was a post on a page of a group I belong to. Frank wrote the post, a young man I knew in college. His son was killed in a tragic accident a couple years back, crossing a street when a car hit him. The post was a memory Frank had written of his young child, a memory of eating a hot dog and going to the movies. My heart broke for Frank the day I heard the news of the tragedy and my heart broke again for him today.
Life is too short and this was a solid slap in the face as a reminder of that. How I've been feeling won't necessarily change, in fact will probably get worse, but how I deal with it can change. I'm lucky. I have a wonderful family, who's mostly healthy. I have friends who step up to the bat for me everyday of the week, including folks like Lauren who have never given up on me, no matter what I do or how I express my feelings.
Do you have a memory of someone, a moment in time that didn't seem all that special to you right then, but that you remember in clarity now? It doesn't have to be just those that have passed away, but anybody. I've got a few that I thought of off the bat and want to share them here.
*I remember sitting in an old school, big ass car and having my papa (mom's father) teach me to knit
*I remember being sick as a dog in Berks, so sick I tried to catch a bus going up the hill on the one street going down the hill. My folks came up to see me, make sure I got better, and my mom and I sat on the couch, me laying against her, both of us reading
*My dad showing up to every single one of my sporting events
*There are a great many memories of Lauren... most that I cannot mention... I kid, I kid! One of our special places is El Som, where we generally order the same thing, and just catch up. Or that I'm always late to her house, when I'm never late to anywhere else.
*Christina is another long-termer from back in the day. She and I have often gotten ready for big events together, the most recent being a Howard thing. I was worried my butt looked fat and she gave me this look, then said: you forget, these are my people, we loooooooooooooove big butts. She also lent me an orchid clip, one of those clippies to hold an orchid upright, to put in my hair. I still have it and still wear it.
*Meghan, whom I rarely speak to anymore, baking me a quiche for my birthday. It drove her nuts because she couldn't cook with two of her staples, onions and peppers.
*Kerry who cries with me. What more needs to be said?
*Christine who always gets the weight loss (and gain...) journey and reminds me to take it easy on myself... this has needed to happen on more than one occasion.
*Joe who always reminds me, especially in my time of need like today, that I do my best to live my life with integrity. I may not always hit the mark, but that I do try.
*Derrick... oh the memories there. Cracking teeth, driving to Pennsyltucky, him being a hotter woman than I on Halloween... you name it, we have it
*Sena who's always loved me, no matter what fights we've gotten into or how different we are
*Lynn, my donut friend (it's time Lynn...) who always gets me when I'm having boy troubles and is always up late with an ear
*People who won't be named, but the memories exist:
-Trying to learn to drive stick. I made it to second. Enough said.
-Friday night Shabbat dinners with granny who didn't speak a lick of English and was of the opinion I speak too fast
-Sitting around the table at TeenLine talking about our life problems and pants being around ankles (I've always been a raunchy soul)
-Hiking through the forest and sharing the first "real" kiss
Have you ever had that experience where you have five billion memories floating around your head and you wish you could just get it down on paper, but they won't sort themselves out?
Regardless, there are many memories and many people I did not mention in this blog and I will spend this week reaching out to them and letting them know that they will always hold a place in my heart.
I sincerely hope I never have to go through the heartbreak that Frank has, the kind where the world stops and getting it to start again seems a ridiculous proposition. Because, as it stands for me, life does go on. I'm going to be me and I'm going to continue to spend my life making me the best version of me that I can. I'm not always going to hit the mark and I'm going to make mistakes, but...
I'm luck enough to have people who love and care about me, who stand by me through bitch and saint.
(If somebody cracks a joke about that halo being held up by horns... so help me God... oh well, who am I kidding? You'd be well within your right)
Life does go on and we are meant to live it. Things happen and all we can do is learn from them and experience them to the max. Not everything works out and some things do. All we can do is enjoy the ride.
And tell some raunchy jokes along the way ;).
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Running
So today was the first day of marathon training. This was simply a pace run, to see who we should be training with in groups and what our goal pace should be.
We were told to follow the folks in the red shirts... same said shirts happen to say "Team to End AIDS" on them. Easy enough, right?
Then there's me. Who's jogging along and oh! There's a red shirt person. So I head that direction. Yeah, guess what? I managed to find the ONE red-shirt person who is NOT a part of the training crew.
Only I can find a way to get lost doing whatever I do. So proud, I remain so proud.
We were told to follow the folks in the red shirts... same said shirts happen to say "Team to End AIDS" on them. Easy enough, right?
Then there's me. Who's jogging along and oh! There's a red shirt person. So I head that direction. Yeah, guess what? I managed to find the ONE red-shirt person who is NOT a part of the training crew.
Only I can find a way to get lost doing whatever I do. So proud, I remain so proud.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Glass Doors
You know those lovely, tall, sliding glass doors?
The ones that are really obvious?
I walked into one. I led with my feet, so I did not break a nose. I know, shocker of all shocker. This happened a few weeks ago, and I meant to share then, but life did as life does.l
So today... aaahhh... lovely day... I bought all sorts of wonderful running gear, was sitting and enjoying some Starbs while grading and bam, there's a double rainbow. I was stoked, so I, being me, start busting out some photos.
And my phone dies.
The world ended today. I do not have my blackberry.
Please. Take a minute to have a moment of silence with me.
Excuse me, I said, silence.
I'm not kidding!!! A moment of silence for the lost blackberry and Morgan's inability to communicate with the free world.
Shhhhh.
The ones that are really obvious?
I walked into one. I led with my feet, so I did not break a nose. I know, shocker of all shocker. This happened a few weeks ago, and I meant to share then, but life did as life does.l
So today... aaahhh... lovely day... I bought all sorts of wonderful running gear, was sitting and enjoying some Starbs while grading and bam, there's a double rainbow. I was stoked, so I, being me, start busting out some photos.
And my phone dies.
The world ended today. I do not have my blackberry.
Please. Take a minute to have a moment of silence with me.
Excuse me, I said, silence.
I'm not kidding!!! A moment of silence for the lost blackberry and Morgan's inability to communicate with the free world.
Shhhhh.
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