Teaching? Math?

Update: I'm now an 8th grade teacher at a public school.

What do I teach?  English.

Question from a Student: Ms. H... What's the word for a 3-D oval?

Me: Huh?

Student:  You know, like a circle is a sphere?  Well, what's an oval?

Me: You do realize... you're asking an English teacher this question?

Students:  *Looks at me*  Well, yes, I mean, but, you know, you're smart...

Me:  In English...  I haven't been in a shapes related math class in more than ten years...

Oh yeah.  This is gonna be a good year...

Love?

Jason Mraz has a new album out. It's called "Love is a Four Letter Word". Well, so is "fuck". What's your point, Jason, what's your point?

Just for J

A friend of mine called to wish me happy travels and to shoot the shit for a few minutes (then rub it in he's getting a massage... Made even worse by my recent massage of masseuse on crack). He tells me about his lunch. Three LARGE beef enchiladas and a load of beans. I have never been so happy somebody is not on a plane with me. (And yes, this is a test to see of he still reads my recently not really updated blog...). Ha! I may or may not have more stories to tell about said person... I'll be nice and not write them... Yet... I bet y'all didn't know I had a talent for blackmail. I kid! I kid!

Moving?

I'm moving in June.  Admittedly, I can't wait.  It's the last tie I have that can finally be cut.  Until then, I have some serious packing to do (and am doing), so I can paint the walls I've painted.  Yes, I'll be doing this on my own... don't ask me what my painting talents are, because as of this point, who the hell knows.

As I'm packing up, I'm feeling oh so proud of myself.  Look at the boxes get stuffed and taped!  Look at some go into storage because I'm a big girl now and have a storage unit!  (Ok, mainly because I'm downsizing in apartment size and cost once I figure out where I'm going, but still!  Don't rain on my parade...)

And then... I look around.  Holy crap, there's a lot left.  Holy crap, I own a shit ton of stuff.  Holy crap, I'm a closet hoarder. 

Am I hoarder style (think the show) bad?  No.  Do I have an unhealthy connection to most of the shit I own?  I'm starting to think so...

Luckily, all I've put into storage so far are the unessential essentials (think random cords that do who knows what and books).  Because these next few days are going to be harrowing.  I'm going to have to learn to say good bye.  Some of this stuff simply needs to GO.  For instance, one suitcase I've owned for years.  My little purple carry on.  I honestly can't remember the last time I used it as one because I have a bigger, more user friendly one.  Why do I still have it?  Because I love it.  It's purple and cute and I've had it for years.

BUT I DON'T USE IT!

Apparently this generally doesn't matter to me and I should waste space storing it in my closet...

This is just one small, and admittedly kind of stupid, example of what I'm talking about here.  I haven't put my bed up for sale yet for two reasons, one is good and the other is not.  The good reason?  I have no freaking clue where I put the assembly instructions.  I know they are somewhere, I just need to look and find them.  Why haven't I really taken the time to look and find and sell?  Because I'm afraid to sell my bed.  I've had this bed for six or seven years.  No joke.  This bed has been through a whole lot with me (we won't discuss the mattress) and now I'm getting rid of it?!  I almost feel guilty...  I told you it was stupid.  But... time moves on and so do I.  No more bed for me! 

Now where are those stinking instructions???  Hhhmmm...

Top Gear

I'm watching Top Gear on netflix (whoo for the show being on instant watch or whatever it's called!) and loving it.  I was turned onto this show by Thou Who Shalt Not Be Named and while I rarely like to have memories of said person on hand, this show breaks that particular rule.

Tonight, I watched one of the "specials" where the guys traveled the length of Boliva/Chile.  Condoms, Tampax, and Viagra all made key appearances on this show.  Various words like penis and whatnot have showed up on other shows.

Does American television even ALLOW for such things?!  Aaaahhh.  To watch the un-prude-ish-ness of some things.  I'm starting to wonder if I'm in the totally wrong part of the world.

And not going to lie, Jeremy Clarkson's style... All I have to do is find a man dressed like that... Then, I shall be happy.  And if he can drive like that too... Yum yum!  And I really want his watches.  So you have your celebrity crush and I have mine... albeit it, a kinda weird one.  But... them's the way the wind blows.

Now... I just need to go find myself a prepster who knows how to drive... How difficult will this really be?  Ehh... I mean, it is just a man...

And I'm pretty sure I already know the answer.

Fucking difficult. 

P.s. the F-bomb is NOT allowed on television.  Because God forbid we ruin our childrens' ears with crappy language.  I mean, rude and offensive language.  Other words that may make this list are...

Fill in the blank here...

Better Life?

Whoever said yummy food can't feed the soul and make you feel better... bite me.

Whoever said shopping is a waste of time and can't make you feel better... can also bite me.

Just saying...

LAX

I walked into a wall. No joke.

Now I'm sitting here watching the delightful translate of American Airlines. There's a man in a full on business suit and wearing rainbow striped leg socks. Or the lady with perfectly coiffed hair,clearly professionally done, straight out of the 80's. Then there's a chick wearing ski pants on the bottom and a tank top up top. Um? Yes?

Oh! Lovely! A man just rearranged himself, hardcore style, while walking past. Now there's a talent for you. This is a show I'm dying to see again.

I'm really looking forward to this flight. There are always the strangest people heading into DC.

I guess I have no room to speak since I will be one of these said passengers...